Favourite Hideout: 2010

3 more days!

I miss you, and that's okay. I just fear you don't miss me back

Yesterday was a productive Christmas shopping which clear out my bank account massively. Like, almost everything is gone.

This is the shopping guideline for yesterday.
Note: The budget is NOT according to how much I love each recipient but according to how much I estimate the present will cost.

I am still left with Aunt, Uncle, Cousins and half of Sissy's presents. :/

I met ZY yesterday too! I mean I made a new friend last night, which I am going to see every year for the next 25 years cause.. I signed up a fixed deposit plan with him. I am going to treat it as a Christmas present to myself cause I can't save for nutssss. Haha. If I am hardworking enough, I'll save a lot by 2035 through the fixed deposit! I like that idea! :D

And I might be meeting ZY for supper on Christmas Eve cause apparently, we're the only lonely souls that I know have no date on Christmas Eve/Day. He has decided to work on that day but that pathetic! I mean, I know I should (too) since I have the time but look, it is CHRISTMASSSSS. It is the ULTIMATE holiday for the end of the year. Okay, excuses.

Well, even if I want to work, I can't cause my working pass is still with the busy man. Who, on the other hand, is too busy with his career and social life that he has no time for me.

Oh well, I don't wna start sounding pathetic here. Time to run!

PS: I know I am not celebrating Christmas this year but still, 3 more days to Christmas! See ya, love ya! (Y)

Breakdown, break down?

You don't know me, seriously. So stop pretending you do.

I feel like puking at the sight/smell of food now now now. When I deprive my body food, I get gastric and I puke. When I feed my body food, it rejects them and I puke. The body fickle minded or what sio!

And I have not done my sit-ups for today. The body is behaving very strangely after the 5 minute walk in the rain yesterday. Migraine/headache and feeling extreme heat/coldness. ): Well enough of it, I thought I might show you a break down of my daily sit-ups.

1) For a total free day = approximately 10 sets (okay, i wasn't expecting that)
Wake up: 3 sets
After lunch & rest: 2 sets
After nap: 2-3 sets
After dinner & rest: 1 set
Before sleep: 2-3 sets

2) For a day out = approximately 5-7 sets
Wake up: 2 sets (none if I wake up late :P)
After I return home: 1 set
Dinner & rest: 1 set
Before I sleep: 3 sets

A) Each sets = 4-5 songs
B) 1 song = approximately 4 minutes
C) 1 minute = approximately 30 sit-ups

If you do the math, I should have done a couple of ~~hundreds~~ thousands for today. :O Okayy, so I am a little obsessed with the sit-ups. :D

And like what man, the team gave me slimming programmes to research on for the project cause they felt I needed it. Hahaha. Whatever, gna start on the 5 sets for the day after I finish on it.

I miss you. Please don't do this to me.

Dear diary

It was initially supposed to be a make up for 14 Dec post but as I write, more emotion was poured out. Pardon the mood and abrupt ending, it had been a horrible day.

Skip it if you don't want to know, you might get affected.

It was gym tuesday and I woke up with a sprained wrist. Instead of working out the arms and legs, I had to change it back to the tummy. Not that I mind anyway.

The day was fruitful. 3 hours of workout, 5 minutes of excitement.

Pardon the redness and fats. I know its not there yet. Looking at the first picture, you can see still the bulging tummy. I've only started this obsession with sit-ups and looking from it, I'll probably never stop.

It actually started because I was angry, upset and down. Not a lot of people know about it but I'll admit, I have depression before.

Like now, it feels like as if I am back to the old days, hurting myself when I am upset. Just that day (14th morning), I saw flashback of myself cutting up my arm. I am not proud of it. It's like some black hollow hole that is sucking me up. Even when you feel the skin split apart and see the blood flow, it still cannot be compared with the empty feeling inside. But at least, it was some form of release. Some way to show that, hey I am still alive and breathing.

It is bad, it is mean especially to the body and soul but people deal with their emotions and pain differently. This is how I do it when I was younger. Then the arm got numb from all of it, I couldn't even feel the pain from the mutilation anymore. Even so, I continued but I made effort to treated the body better. I promised myself that even if I was hurting my body, I wouldn't let the wounds get infected. Idk what happen but it's like I was watching myself from afar, like a third person's view. I became careful with whatever I used. I had my collection of blades which I maintained but once it's rusty, that's off you go. It felt like I was hurting myself with a clear mind. Strange but yeah, I am glad I did take care of the body in the end.

Then I grew out of the phase. I was glad and so much better. A few years went by, then I was back to it again. That's when I started having stress while in a relationship with Kenneth. I know everyone thinking we are loving. And yes, we were. Like I've always said, he is probably the best I could ever have.

We never had any of the small fights that couples have. When I told people about it, they said we were abnormal. But it's because we give and take, we tolerate each other. It was as if we were living for each other, just for each other.

But the worst that I feared did come in the end. It was the biggest obstacle of our life. It was a matter deceiving, trust and then he revealed the worst, his parents wanted to separate us. We were all under a lot of stress. It got so bad that I threaten to kill myself. Yes, I was at my weakest moment. It was horrible, something I will never ever in my entire life, want to go through again. Then from there on, whenever I was down or under a lot of stress, I started hurting myself again. But no, it wasn't the blades. I used what we all have, the fingernails. It felt like I was trying to skin my hands. The blood probably wasn't as much as the blades but it gives the same form of release. But the aftermath was disgusting. You'll have plenty of scratches, (some with blood, some without) all over the hands. It will like this even after the night past. I had to cover up with the long sleeves and jacket. It was bad thinking whether I will get infection from them. One moment of release lead to so much trouble.

Then we got over it, every thing was pretty normal. Fast forward to now, we left each other. I lost the man I was living for. I went crazy. I did horrible things. September was the worst month of my life. While people were thinking I was happily drinking and mixing around with all the weird people that they could never associate me with, I was trying to drown the pain. Fooling around with them was a form of release. It was fun to entertain people, watch them laugh at you and then laughed back at yourself. I wanted to feel loved and I did, but for that moment only and nothing more. Okay, some of them probably still love me now. Hahaha. Nothing was serious, everybody was fooling around. Thinking back, it was stupid but it was still funny that we did all the crazy things together.

Now, the new way of hurting myself? Exercise and starvation. If I have the entire day free (like tuesday), I'll exercise the entire morning without break then take a small breakfast like half a potato then head for a shower. After that, it will be exercise again till the body screams hunger and give up. By then, still denying the body food, I'll cool down and head for a nap. Then wake up, exercise, have a light dinner, rest and exercise again.

It's mean, I know. Over-exercising and starvation are just other ways I am doing to hurt the body. Just today, I did it again. I was out with Clement when the body was rejecting my plan. Gastric problem was back again. A problem I've got since I was young, probably inherited from my gone-dad. As if the migraine and period wasn't draining enough, I went weak from the vomit and then got dizzy. I was glad that he never left me there cause if he did, I'll probably go back to the scratching-mutilation. Idk, I've been very weird lately wanting everyone's attention. It's probably because the person who is suppose to give me his attention, has given everything to his career and own social life. Abandon, neglected. No wonder I am behaving weirdly.

Those people who were wondering if I was on a diet, let me tell you. I will never starve myself just to lose weight. It is stupid cause you'll gain it back every soon again. And it is stupid to even hurt yourself in the first place, so people, please don't do it. Use other ways to vent your anger or frustration, never do it my way.

If I cld, I wld let go of the starvation and mutilation and focus on exercising. I wna see how far I can go but for now, the plan wldn't change very much just yet.

Sorry to annoy the people who cared or had your twitter spammed by my upsetting updates. Haha. Actually, I think I am much better now after crying and writing all these out. Though I cld probably never really tell everyone what happened in September but I can say there was a lot pain, drowning, harming, mistakes and stupidity. Please do not worry, its nothing illegal.

Let's just hope the days will get better.

Kenneth

If there is one sentence that sums up what I felt on the day I've lost you, Kenneth.
This will be it, this will be it.

Never

>> Wednesday, December 15, 2010 – tumblr

Down, down, down

If only I could speak of the unspoken.

Enough said, goodbye.

Loving the pain

My recent addiction? Sit-ups and stomach crunch*! (Y)
*actually, idk what's the name of the exercise. It's the one where you lie down and get your hands and feet up to meet in the air. You'll feel the tense at your upper thigh and tummy area. In my case, I call it stomach crunch. :D

I love the pain of the aftermath (sounds a bit wrong). But anw, the pain is evidence that I've been too slack and it works as a reminder for me to work harder! Ohh, and I've been neglecting the dumbbells! Perhaps, I should make it a point to do them on alternate days? Not fair to just work on the tummy but not everywhere else. Let's see how!

Anw, I just feel the need to get this recorded down cause, though the sense of satisfaction is really hard to describe, I am loving what I am doing now. Awesome!

PS: on a side note, I think drinking has made my tummy a little bigger. How mean!

Gonna work hard, train hard, get fitter, get better! Keep it going, yw! :D

Atoms

>> – tumblr

Every atom of me misses you

It's killing me

>> Saturday, December 11, 2010 – tumblr

I know. I just hope you realise how you are killing me slowly. Every minute, every second.

Kiss

>> – tumblr

The nighttime adventure

You

>> – tumblr

(:

Awesome Wednesday

>> Friday, December 10, 2010 – Shows

Caught Crazy Christmas with Eugene the crazy bird! It happen to be his birthday the next day (today), so we had a mini celebration!

After early dinner at Pasta Mania, we headed over to National Library Building to camwhore while waiting for the play.

The show was mad awesome! The comedy, plot, sick jokes, Christmas carol and Hossan Leong! Imagine if we had the tickets to the version with Kumar, omggg! I was so touched by the amazing vocal and rendition, I couldn't control my emotions and cried at Hossan Leong's performance. It's that good, Eugene and I wanna watch it again! So if you wanna watch it, we can buy the tickets tgt!

/edited

Polkadots

>> Sunday, December 5, 2010 – wants

Yay or nay? Imma get this when I get my macbook pro. :D

ABC

>> – tumblr

You

>> – tumblr

❤

>> – tumblr

Diary

>> – tumblr

Everything

>> Saturday, December 4, 2010 – tumblr

He's annoying, he's hilarious, he makes me yell, he drives me crazy, he's out of his mind, and he's everything I want.

It's crazy, isn't it?

Awesome childhood characters

I shall not be greedy. I only want Pikachu, Yoshi, Domo and.. The duck (above Domo) and frog (besides duck). To think that I used to like them a lot, I actually forgotten their names. D:

Is age catching up already?

Old times

Perhaps it is because I've been catching up with a couple of my old friends, cause I am having flashbacks of what happened in the past.

One of the most shocking incidents is about Matt. He probably wouldn't want to remember it cause he actually suddenly gave me a peck on our way home. It was awfully funny cause we're like brothers (serious: brothers, obviously not couple) and I believed he was half drunk (after school, in broad daylight apparently) and was "dared" to do it. Hahaha!

There were more funny incidents between he and I actually.

I still remember the times where I used low blow him (oops!) in school and that one time which I forgotten to clench my fist and felt everything instead. Gross, I know. He bit me on my hand and left his saliva there.

Omgggg. Old times.

Love is mad awesome

One of the very rare days where I felt superrr loved.

/edited

Today is such a lovely day. I swam, saw bestie Karhong, bought cupwalker, grab my debit card and met robin. Later I am going out to get tickets for Crazy Christmas 2010 which I'll be catching with Eugene the crazy bird. So much for wanting to catch Kumar, his special appearance (mature contents) shows are all sold out. Arghhh, at least we're getting a 30% off the tickets (I think).

Okay, I did everything as planned (see ytd's post) except for the last part about rushing my report. :/ Get to it, yw. Time is not stopping for you!

Ingenious plan

/edited

Seriously, which quiz has a weightage of 20%, man? 5/10/15% probably but 20%? Nah, that's what I call a term test. -.- And I find it soo hard to concentrate on the revision cause it's like an informal version of term test. :/ Maybe I should have went for gym just now, at least it won't make me feel that the morning was wasted. Damn!

My ingenious plan for tmr? Gym/swim in the morning. After that, go Kovan to grab cupwalker and get my debit card then come home to rush my 2 reports.

Yesssss! Cupwalker here I come!

Firework, Grenade & Dynamite (Awesome Mash Up)

>> Monday, November 29, 2010 – covers

Distraction

Oh boy, you've got me distracted

I shd be doing up my ccom report and studying for club/resort but mnet's on tv. With Taeyang, TOP & G Dragon's performance's just over, how do you expect me to concentrate? Madness!

Am talking with Clement L now. It's funny how we try to piece back memories of the past. Not that we have a scandalous relationship or something, but we're trying to find out how we stop talking from secondary two till now. The funny thing is, we still have no idea how it happen. Oh well, gonna meet that kuku probably this week or next to catch up a little. :D

An updating on ytd's spending, I've got 147$ deducted from my acc. Still gonna go get more stuffs on tmr/tuesday. Damage? Another 100$. So much for maintenance, damn it! ):

PS: amazingly, I know. I've started twitting today!

If I cld, I wld stop whining and start on my report. But it's soo harddddd. ):

HELLOOO FREEEEEDOM!

"Who would have ever knew
That we would ever be more than friends
We´re real worldwide, breakin' all the rules

He's like a song played again and again"

With judging over, we're only left with the report writing. Wee! I am glad that judging was pretty okay though we freaked out and did a lot of last minute work on the day itself. The judges basically tackled our biggest (& only) loophole which we alr knew from the start (our title doesn't match our project). Weeee! Job well done, kids! When we are done with the assignments, reports, quiz and term test next few weeks, it's time to celebrate! :D

PS: Can't wait for busy man and I get less busy with work & school! (:

And I've received my BO packages (AE Waterfall Ruched Top in Pink & White and TVD Chiffon Tiered Top in White) this week. Omgomgomg, can't wait to wear them out. They are so awesomely mad-pretty that sissy wants to steal the pink piece. Haha! Anw, I must have gone crazy during FYP cause now that we're done, I can't wait to play dress up with the new clothes (including BC Satin M-Shape Romper, Grunge Tube Dress in Taupe & Crimson Red, Oversized Asymmetrical Tunic). Haha.

Something random that I've noticed after my ah-boy haircut? I tend to dress more feminine. Weird but it's okay. That's just me, I am different! :D

Gonna start on my reports/assignments/test soon! But first, let me go out and do some shopping with sissy. We're grabbing some skin care product and, make up? Nah, let's see how.

If I cld, I wld catch Rapunzel 3D this week. I know Disney Princess isn't my kinda thing. Perhaps it's my sudden lost of locks that's affecting me but I got a sudden craving to watch this. So, Rapunzel anyone? :D

Kurt Schneider & Sam Tsui

>> Thursday, November 25, 2010 – covers

Love the way you lie (MASH UP)

Replay (Cover)

Nothin' on you & Hey, soul sister (Cover)

The only exception

Madness, awesome. What's more?

Grenade by Bruno Mars

Finally watching the official video. The pain is too real, baby. Too real.

Just a dream (Cover)

>> – covers

This is madness

Gorgeous little things

>> Wednesday, November 24, 2010 – wants

Damn!

/edited

If I cld, I wld sleep on my bed tonight. It's rare that I actually want to sleep on the bed cause I like my sofa more. But I am camping over in school so it wldn't matter anw. Blame FYP, I have to finish it by tonight.

Hold me close, don't let go.

Friend D: why didn't he ask you to stay?
Me: ..

*silent for a long time

D: hello?
Me: yes?

*pause

Me:I don't know

/edited

When quiet time are spent thinking

"I just want to hold you close, feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment, for all the rest of time."

If only it was this easy.

I want to finish up my CCOM report today but I forgotten to save the half completed report into my email. Kuku me! Now I have 2 hours to stare at this screen. Idk what else I can do.

Thinking of the FYP, I think if we corrected our focus point for the project a month earlier or so, we will be able to do a more complete presentation. I am really fearing what will happen when they ask me how the interior design look like. The thing is we don't have enough time to do up a inspired interior design (e.g. draw out in Revit and render it out).

It took me 3 days to complete 2 hand-drawn exterior designs and I have to say the drawing/design/colour sucks. This is what happens when you try force-draw due to time constraints. If we were to do interior design, we definitely won't be able to complete it in time. Yes, we will be showing inspirated interior design from an architect. But look, you can't expect us to use someone else's work and say that the interior will look just like the picture. It doesn't make sense.

I really don't want to have any loopholes that they can dig into. Judging is 20% of the marks but even if raywong gave us all distinction for the 80% (which is highly not possible lah, use butt think also know) it will still affect greatly on our grades.

4 more days till the big day, I wish every thing will go well. Please let it be.

/edited

If I cld, I wld.. sing now. But I am in the library where silence is observed. Blame all the kuku classes using the access labs at the same time! Roar!

(Haha. I think it's funny how I try to push the blame to anyone but me. Okay, I should have just brought my laptop.)

I want my Macbook Pro now now now now now!

//PS: I read my primary school friends' blog during the long break just now and they are still so close. All, except me cause I am the only one who didn't get into the same secondary school as them. But I am contented cause that's where Kenneth and I met. No matter where I am, what I am doing, who I am with, he will always be the best.

//PSPS: Wow! If only I can get this awesomely wordy when it comes to report writing, that will be amazing!

I can hardly hide my excitement, freedom is approaching.

/edited

Yes, we're finally done with the ppt. And I still think we did a fantastic job. :D But the design I was working on ended up like some kindergarten kid's drawing. Sorry girls!

PS: I've got CCOM assignment to work on and Service Quality quiz to prepare for. Both are due tmr and it's 1228AM now. Which to attack first?

I see nothing

I am on the verge of tearing all my drawings and cry.

Wait, I am crying. I don't think I can do it any more.

"So, how are you doing now?"

"Have you ever been in a position where you wanna text this person but you always worry about how he will take it or if he will even reply?"

I have, so many times, want to ask you this simple "how are you" question but have never had to courage to do so.

-

Design, draw, colour. This should be my main priority now.

So much has to be forgo but it's the last lap to go. Work hard now, people. After this hurdle, it's freedom.

First on my to-do list:
Drink and gym.

I know they don't match but that's me. Need to refresh myself before taking down term test and more projects one by one.

A runaway trip in March with me, anyone?

Marshall baby

>> – wants

This Marshall baby is USD99. I know I can afford it. Shd I?

Reward yourself/myself/ourselves!

I wanna go but on 26th? It's my FYP judging day. And I have to bring a friend along. Now now, who wants to go with me? It's retail therapy, reward for the hell load of shite we did for FYP. No gender preference!

Lingerie is the best part of shopping! :D

Her face gave it away

>> – her

Short hair with unisex dressing, mostly mistaken as a boy.
This hot girl's sitting in front of me and it's driving me crazy.

Ahhh, I can't help it. She will be the successor of gorgeous KY. :D

Story line

Are we merely substitute for each others lost?

You don't have to know my story but isn't any better then yours.

Random

"Don't expect so much and be surprise by how much God is giving you"

yeah

-

One more week till the big day, am alr planning how to celebrate after that. First, Kumar's night with the girls then Chilli's for yum yums. Yay! After that, imma make a timetable to settle my Tuesdays/Wednesdays/Saturday/Sunday. I wanna go gym/swim/work and probably date/drink/movie too? :D

Need to get money back from raywong, syida, ~~michel~~ and hwahmin soon. Imma out of money till the end of the month due to the recent drinking session and cabbing fee. Being broke sucks big time!

Paiseh ar, michel! I remember wrongly! Old liao! Heh!

Are you?

".. if a man is not treating you the way you want to be treated, you have two choices – stay or go."

"What you don’t want is to be the woman who holds on, hopefully, giving him everything he wants and sacrificing everything that you want. I know someone who has spent 7 years – her childbearing years – waiting for her boyfriend to propose. He negotiated for her to move in with him, and that’s where they stand. Satisfying for him. Not so much for her.

If you’re willing to be that woman – the one who waits forever for the day that never comes, then that’s your prerogative.

You’ll have another 3 years with your boyfriend.
What you won’t have is a husband.
Because he doesn’t want to be a husband.

And you knew it.
And you ignored it.
And there’s no one to blame at that point but you."

".. the only leverage you have is to walk away from him and see if he follows."

Extracted from Evan Marc Katz

For a woman who ~~has been~~ was waiting

Let go, you'll understand

I've been led on, to think that we've been
trying for too long.

Found this song on someone's fb and thought it will be nice to share.

Well, I only found out while viewing Vestige fb that, apparently the tortoise didn't sign out his fb from my iphone. Hahaha. I didn't do it on purpose uhh.

/edited

If you ever loved somebody, put your hands up

I was thinking about her
Thinking bout me
Thinking bout us
What we gonna be?
Open my eyes

It was only just a dream

Should I?

"Fuck, it feels like there is a washing machine in my tummy now."

I should just vomit and let it out but I seriously don't like the feeling of it.

So how? My guess wld be that passion fruit red tea from Cup Walker contains honey. That's probably one of the few things that can cause all this. Sigh.

If I work hard tonight, I'll have my evening free tmr. (: maybe I can catch Social Network after all but I'll need company. Hmm.

Yes, very soon. Gonna welcome freedom with a big "HELLOOOOO!" shoutout and flying kisses.

You know I'd do anything for ya

Depriving my body & brain sleep singing a song that reminds me of you

It's alright to feel pain once awhile to know that everything is/was real.

The heart is/was real.
The feeling is/was real.
The tears are/were real.

You are/were real.

Grenade by Bruno Mars

111110

Seriously, BB western will never changed. It still suck after 2 years of not eating it. You know what? Their definition of spicy sausage pasta is diluted ketchup, few slice of budget sausage, pepper and pasta.

_|_

I am feeling so horrible now. Not so much due to the muscle ache from Napfa last night. It's more to because I am sick, my neck hurts and I have only slept 1 hour last night.

/edited

Ah fuck. For now, I'll just concentrate on project and growing my hair. Grow, hair grow! You can do it! :DD

Napfa Test

"Wait, wait.. A bit more! 69, 69, 69.. Ahhhh!"

Apparently the above convo was during the Sit & Reach station and I wanted to reach the 69cm mark, so I can be on par with Harvey's record in September.

When I finally realised what I shouted sounds damn wrong, it was alr too late. Arghhh.

/edited

Oh Boy

I think my hair makes me look funny. I feel like a little boy trying on his mum's clothes.

I am having a love-hate relationship with it. I like it as it complements my funny, annoying and boyish personality. But it's a little too much. I am boyish but not all the time. It depends on my mood, the situation, the people I am with and the clothes I wear. My sister just told me that I look like a regular butch from her secondary school. ):

I just didn't understand why Ricky didn't let my fringe and sideburns to be longer, more bob-ish and girly. I told him I don't wanna a butch style and he says it has it's feminine touches. Oh man, where? All it did was to show off my chubby cheeks to the world. Can my sides grow longer, faster?

/edited

Oh well, I will learn to love it. And rock it. Come on (starting to psycho myself), there's nothing wrong with having a drastic change of hairstyle as long as I can rock it right? What's more, I just granted myself more clothes choices to choose from, like from my male friends' wardrobe. Hahaha.

Just you wait, baby. Just you wait.

Oh, before I forget, The Social Network anyone? (:

Him?

Ice Box, Baby

Sometimes when it's so cold, I just wanna tuck my hands into my shirt and embrace myself.

Like, now.

Why am I not a polar bear? Look, some cute polar bear is enjoy a nap while I am freezing here. In the library. Facing the survey results and new layout design.

IT'S. JUST. NOT. FAIR.

-

Okay lah. I am not that pissed or what. I am just feeling whine-ishy.

Dreaming a dream

What I wanted to be (then) was a devoted wife and mother. Stupidly/retardedly, now I realised it isn't gonna bring me anywhere. Esp at a time like this.

If I can be whatever I wanted, it would be an architect or somewhere between drawing, buildings, designing and physically building/making something. Okay, it still sounds like architecture.

I put that down cause it wasn't ideally good to be an architect in Singapore. I have to be the best and even so, I'll probably get restricted on the types of building I could design (land constrain). But it was something I wanted and dream of.

If I could choose again, I'll be brave, go against the negative thoughts and people's yanking that it is not something useful for a Singaporean. Just study what I wanted and not regret. It will definitely be wiser than to study something just because it could be an easier path and have a better future. So what if it doesn't work out in Singapore? I'll just move to wherever I want and develop my career. Maybe help recontruct buildings for the less fortunate people from other countries. Or just wherever people need me (and my weird/strange building designs).

Other than that, I just want to sing. Sing what I wanted, when I wanted. No stress or anything. Then maybe perform a gig once awhile.

And yes, find new band mates.

Life continues, whether you want it or not

I saw this adorable girl with her parents on my way to work.

Kind of reminds me of this little girl & boy which we used to meet on our way to school.

School is starting tomorrow. I am going to be more independent (or lonely, it's up to you). Imma go school and back home on my own. Imma have no life and do project everyday. Try sneaking out for a date probably once awhile. I want to date everyday but that's not possible anyway. Like, whose gonna date me? :/ Let's see how huh?

By the way, I am going to skip classes for the first week. I will work on projects in the morning and work from afternoon/evening till midnight. I have no choice cause the work contract is until end of Halloween. I am very excited cause this is my first exposure, a pretty cool one too! Especially with the company with me.

I love Ace. Omg. He. Is. So. Damn. Adorable. Besides Arron, he is the most sweet and adorable person I have met.

And yesterday, I found out that I don't like gun fights half way through the movie. The movie was good but I guess I am more of a hand-to-hand combat person. Haha.

Matt Cardle - Just the way you are

>> Monday, October 18, 2010 – covers

I want to marry Matt Cardle! (: I hope he wins X Factor (UK)!

(:

My babe knows what's going on.

Why do girls run from the ones that make them happy, and fight for the ones that make them cry?

I know we are all having a hard time with our issues but I am thankful for having you around with me, babe.

Coward

For someone, who has loved and lost the one she loved cause she wasn't good enough, to take that big step out and embrace someone again..

Is too difficult/challenging/frightening for me.

That was our type of movie

While watching Detective Dee with JS the other day, I suddenly detached my mind from the movie and thought:

I should be watching this with you.

Man.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Okay, in case you're wondering, I decided to cut the post into two. One is on my wishlist (below, haha!) , another is a super wordy-boring post (this) on my birthday cause I am lazy to get the memory card from my camera.

Skip this if you're bored and is afraid to get even more bored by me.

I turned 19 yesterday. This year, my family celebrated it a week earlier so Sis (her's is on the 24th, along with Terry's and Romer's) and I (mine is on the 26th) can keep the day free for celebrations with our friends. We had two cakes; Berry (?) for her and Tiramisu for me. I never like Tiramisu but that's not the point!

We had a mini gathering cum dinner cum cake cutting. It was a pity mum was out that day for idk-what reason. She didn't pick up the calls nor reply our smses. I thought only youngsters like to go 'missing' once awhile. Tsk!

Thank you to those who wished me through phone calls and smses, you know who you are! :D

This year's celebrations had so many hiccups that I nearly wanna jump off the building. Original go out cum drink cum sleepover plan for Saturday night got cancelled cause PH got confined at camp, then another movie date got cancelled.. and so on. Yes, if you saw me on Friday at SS29 sulking like shiteballs, that's the reason. Hurhur! Then I tried to get VT and gang to drink with me but they bombarded me all the planning cause it was super last minute until I gave up.

Things got better as the day got nearer. JS celebrated with me on Thursday with Mac breakfast and Pizza Hut dinner. On my birthday, I had a threesome (Lolol!) date with JS and PH (he managed to get out really late on Saturday night :D) till JS left for work. Then we headed over to town for walk/talk/stone before he send me off to meet my fling, J to catch Resident Evil, Afterlife. Milla Jovovich is really pretty and the actions were awesome but the movie was wayyyy to short. Man, such a pity!

Coincidentally, I met my mum and Sis on my way home after that. Idk how they spotted me on the streets! And then coincidentally (again), I saw violinist Daryl (idk how I spotted him too) and made him wish me happy birthday. Hahaha!

To think that I combed all the mall at town with PH alr (except FEP, cine and Heeren), I am going to meet JS at town again tmr for movie, Devil and more shopping. I think I need to stop shopping soon. Sigh. Am sooo broke now but there is still so many things I wanna buy. ):

And guess what! I just watch the Devil thriller online. Omg, it's a horror movie! AHHH! The thriller kinda freak me out alr. ): I think JS is going to get the shock of his life not from the movie but from me cause.. when I am scared, I either laugh like crazy or scream like crazy.

Phew! Am finally done typing. I didn't expect it to be sooo wordy man. But oh well, see you guys!

CAUTION: Wallet-damaging post

I was looking through Topshop and Nixon online and wished that I was born rich. I mean I love my family now but hey, it wouldn't hurt to have more money right? :D

Picks of my favourites under cut. (:

TOPSHOP

I wish the weather is cooler so I can don these gorgeous Topshop coats. ):

I'll get this if I have the body to flaunt it. Haha!

The only feasible item to wear (due to the weather).

NIXON

The unisex watch I nearlyyyy bought for my birthday.

(Thinking twice now cause it looks like a baby compared to the watches below. :/ )

Men Watch Selection

Okay, I have to admit that if I like one thing, I tend to get it in the colours that catches my eyes. And yes, I have a thing for men watch. Well, the watch a man wears says a lot about them. I reallyyyy wanna see Zack's watch collection. He is one crazy guy who is willing to spend thousands on a watch piece.

Damn, another reason to start working like a slave after my long birthday break!

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